@ Monday, December 19, 2011

His gone to Bandung with his family 6 hours ago. Damn demoralizing. Oh wait before continuing, i hope you guys don't mind me posting about him. This is my blog, my say, my feelings. I still love him to be truthful. I still do care for him. I know he did stupid things before and you guys are wondering why i'm still going on with him. We all have feelings right? Well, doesn't everybody wanna fall in love? I know he made a HUGE mistake in a relationship. My heart shatters into million of pieces even now i'm trying to overcome this problem but please, give me time to set myself at ease and make my decision. He did cheated on me behind my back. I even found out from his ex. Okay fine. It was truly hard to get over the pain as it was extremely hurtful to see him do this to me when i sincerely love him from the bottom of my heart.

Not only once but thrice. I love him so much. I am very sure what is the feeling of loving that someone deeply. Its hard to let go. Even though i did made a decision to go for a few times but he refused, he weeped, he begged, he called me more than tons of times when i didn't pick his call up. I was crying infront of my sister, alone in the room, wondering, why must he do this to me when i really love him so much? Is my love for him not enough? It was such a hearbreaking day.

It took a few days for me to overcome this challenge. He begged me for another chance, a very last chance. Though i gave him the very last chance, it is still hard for me to trust him back. What if he do the same thing again? Well, i'll just have to say SAYONARA. I'm not being harsh or something. I just don't like to be stepped. I just want to be loved SINCERELY.

Okay wth, i shall not elaborate more on the heartbreak part. I shall open a topic about.. I miss him already. Well apparently, i went airport just now to send him and his family off. To be frank, Im seriously scared and shy. I was shivering and smiling like nobody's business. Then i saw him. I smiled but at the same time, i was extremely dejected because he is going Bandung for 5 freaking days. Oh then then, of course, its my first time seeing his family ^^ *hi hello. LOL

Saddening, me and him didnt really have ample convo together. Yea, i think i know the reason why. No last hug :'( from him. Well, at least i get to hug his siblings. Gahhh :'( Please 5 days. Past fast pleaseeeeee. I need to feel his presence. All i can sense is his smell lingering around me. I put two pictures of him under my pillow so that whenever i miss him, i can take a look at his pictures. His specs beside my pillow and i will smell and clean it every single day. I may sound psycho but no, im not. This is called MISS, RINDU okay. I can even barely breathe without his text/call. Its very boring at home but thanks, my friends is accompanying me. I wonder what is he doing there? Shopping? Eating? AT the hotel? We are miles and miles away but it feels like you are just beside me, hugging me, kissing me. Wishing that you would text/call me. Every morning you will always text me "Good morning bby" .. I know its just 5 days but its long and it hurts of not receiving his text/call. Something is missing. I miss him a lot :'((

Currently hearing A THOUSAND YEARS :'(

@ Sunday, December 11, 2011

@ Tuesday, August 02, 2011

I should feel the heat by now. My O'level Malay results will be next week? I guess so or maybe mid of August. I just hope i pass. I am not dying for distinction because i knew my weaknesses for Malay but at least a B4 will satisfy myself. Yes yes, B4, so what? Its still a pass. For all this months, i had been failing my Malay so badly and if i were to get B4 or better for Malay, i am impress with it. *applause. Its a sign of good improvement. The only subject that can help me pull up my grades is definitely DNT. DNT never fails to make me frown. Please be good to me.

Okay, i better shut up talking about my results. Only God knows by now how well or bad i am doing. Booohuhuuu. Horrible. Anw, life's okay :) but im having some emotional problems nowadays. Im often envy, angry, sad, disappointed. Lots to describe but when im with my friends, im happy.