@ Friday, March 09, 2012

Today marks the third day Darwyss in Tekong. Only God knows how much i miss him :'( Every single day i would hug his tshirt and smell it every time im starting to feel down. I just hope that i have the courage and restrain myself from being depressed especially on Monday to Sunday. BE STRONG FIDI! 7 days only you have to work then i will get my freedom.

Yesterday i cried because i was too tension and i miss him so much :'( Flashback when the times we had fun laughing, making jokes, you would carry me up unexpectedly, our long calls.. I miss your presence like serious shit! 2 weeks more!

Haish..

@ Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Thats the recent picture of us nearby Esplanade. It was Saturday that day and thought it was the very last day to meet him before NS. Thank You Allah because you really let the time slow that day so that we can spend time together. Monday was the very last day for me to hug him and cried infront of him. He cried infront of me too :( Life life life. We have to take challenges somehow. NS was too early for him especially this year was not a good year for me to see him leave for NS. This year is a very special year.. I want him to be there when Im entering a new school soon. I wanna celebrate our One year anniversary together but its just somber because he has no choice. I TRULY RESPECT HIS DECISION. Its not his choice to go NS first. He always wanted to study for his H.Nitec. To be honest, wtv decisions he has made, I am soo proud of him. Darwyss still have the courage to go NS even though its way too fast.

I agnised that we had been fighting for weeks but he was the one who stayed strong in this RS. I was stupid. I followed my heart too much till i throw tantrums at him without any proper reason. He was the one that always say sorry because he wanted to end the fights fast. Im sorry Darwyss :( Im sorry for hurting you. You should know why Im like this right? November incident was devastated. Though it was the biggest mistake that you had done, you realised it and you change day by day. Our love is getting stronger and stronger. Well, fighting doesn't mean bad all the time but we will learn how to understand each other and strengthen our bonds together. That is why, knowing that he has to go NS, cracks my heart into pieces. I pretended that i will be fine when i know i won't. He means a lot to me. I wish i could wake up and see him right next to me. I wanted to hug him so much! Kiss him like there is no tmrw. Feel his touch so much :'( Only God knows how im doing. I tried to stay strong and not to cry (IMPOSSIBLE) but no! my tears just won't stop falling.. its like a waterfall.. IDK how many tissues i had wasted. Pfft.. but what keeps me accompanied will be his shirt, pictures , etc. I miss him badly :'( PLS BE FAST! i wanna meet him badly. Miss his Scooby doo laugh and *mama =')

I feel so much better now, Alhamdulillah.